info@therapyoakpark.net

115 N. Marion Street, Suite 6 Oak Park, IL

Valentine’s Day was Made for Singles Too!!

We all know that one special day of love. There’s barely a moment in passing before we see the discounted Christmas candy become easily replaced by the very same candy molded into heart shapes dressed in red foil.

Oh the joys of Valentine’s Day!! Where love seems endless and romance fills the air. Local restaurants await the flood of dinner reservations and consumers going through countless cards only to realize the perfect one cost a mere $7.99.

Why does one day cause so much pressure and anxiety? How can one day make those that are single feel so unimportant in the department of love? It’s an inclusive day where children can bring valentine treats for their classroom but the single adults are segregated from those that are in a relationship with lovers.

Here are 5 tips for Singles to Survive the 24 hours known as Valentine’s Day. But before I share these tips for the low price of Free.99, let’s take a journey back to the origin of such holiday. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, Valentine’s Day, was a holiday when lovers expressed their affection with greetings and gifts. Its origins started with the Roman festival of Lupercalia, held in mid-February. This festival celebrated the coming of spring, which included fertility rites and the pairing off of women with men by lottery. The festival was replaced with St. Valentine’s Day and became a celebrated day of romance since the 14th century.I don’t know about you… but being placed in a lottery for a partner does not sound too romantic.

Instead of letting the pressures of modern day social acceptance and overstimulation of the red and pink colors get you down… utilize this season of love on YOU.

Here are the 5 tips:

  1. STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA (Your therapist would call this… Cognitive Distortions)Who needs their timeline filled with all the couples in “romantic bliss?” We all know that one dysfunctional couple that uses Valentine’s Day to shine, despite their near breakup post just last week. It is a known fact that a high percentage of people lie on social media so….Don’t Sweat It! If it dampens your spirits, there is nothing wrong with a 24-hour deactivation day.
  2. YOU ACTUALLY DO HAVE A HOT DATE: YOU! (….Systemic Desensitization)Whatever happened to dating yourself? Have you looked in the mirror and LOVED what you see. Would you date you? Spend this time to really evaluate and treat yourself. It could be something simple like making your favorite meal, date night on a Groupon, deliver flowers to yourself at your job. There is nothing more romantic than loving on you. Candles. Hot bath. Great Book. It’s your world. It can be all about YOU, by YOU, and for YOU! So ladies, get glamorous. Gentlemen, get sexy! You might just run into a potential Valentine. 
  3. INVEST IN WHAT YOU SAVED (…..Activity SchedulingThink of all the money you saved on not buying that $8 card or dining on an expensive steak dinner. Use that money to invest in something whether it is towards your business, deposit on a dream vacation, stocks or something simple such a wine rack for the kitchen. You can always make room for a nice bottle of Romanee-Cont
  4. BE THANKFUL (…..Cognitive Restructuring)Rejoice in the fact that you no longer have to spend an extra hour in the gym to burn off that 5lb box of chocolates and prime ribeye. It’s difficult to know whether your investment will turn into a long-term courtship. Until then, enjoy your singleness as relationships have its own set of rules and responsibilities. Some will even deny missing the freedoms that come along with singlehood. Sometimes it feels good not having to lie when asked the question, “How was your Valentine’s Day?”
  5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS (…..Successive Approximation)Just remember in a few months, it will be summer where singleness is embraced with open arms. Singleness is a season of blessings and a time of growth. It’s a time to love you and be with you. There is no one day that dictates the love you give yourself so you can be prepared to give yourself to another. You will be thanking yourself that you’ve invested during this time. Do not let one day dampen your spirit and hopes in love because a chubby little boy in a diaper, shooting arrows said so.

You do not have to be in a relationship to be worthy of LOVE!! LOVE is shown all year-round!! So, remember Valentine’s Day is for Singles too. And if you haven’t heard it in awhile, you can say you’ve heard it today: YOU ARE LOVED!

Cheers to one great big….. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!   How will you celebrate as a single on Valentine’s Day?